Our Last Chance
by QuidditchQuitter
Summary: Light cannot figure out how he and Ryuzaki seem to have both survived death. All he knows is that they want each other. The question is, is there something else L wants from him? And will it end up costing more than he'd imagined? Light/L slash.
1. Life in Death

**Story Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Life in Death**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimers are for morons.**

**Author's Note: Very sexy Light/L slash. My first Death Note fanfic...one I hope will please all our deepest desires for one of the greatest pairings of all time. I try to stay as true to the show as possible. Be warned...spoilers if you haven't seen the entire thing or read the manga. Read and review to help me continue! Thanks!**

* * *

The clanging of metal against metal jolted Light down to his very bones.

It seemed to last for hours. He screamed in agony. Someone was punishing him, someone who had found out he was Kira, and he had failed-

The intervals of clanging slowed. He tried to identify it. It sounded vaguely familiar; he felt the click over as his logical brain took over, replacing the panicky, feverish thoughts of a moment ago. It sounded like metal bars.

Metal bars, like a jail cell.

The clanging stopped.

The punishment had ended.

Where was he?!

Was he dead? Was this the place of nothingness Ryuk promised would be his fate?

Someone was watching him. He could feel it. He sighed through his nose, preparing. Whoever awaited him would undoubtedly carry out his eternal judgment. With a sinking feeling, he gritted his teeth. It was time to face eternity.

He opened his eyes.

Above him was a dank, greenish-brown ceiling of metal.

_He was alive_.

He was…_alive?!?!_

Gathering his composure, he let his eyes roam around. Ceiling. Walls?

Finally, he turned his head.

Metal bars.

A cell. Just like one he remembered from…from when he forgot he was Kira.

A jail cell.

He swallowed; his throat was dry.

He shifted; his muscles were stiff and a little sore.

There was a terrible, searing pain in his collar bone, just below his neck and close to his shoulder. Had something happened to him there? Hadn't he been _shot _or something?!

A shadow seemed to fall across the barred room, upon the dank tiled floor.

Light squinted.

Someone _was_ here.

_Take it easy, Light. You didn't get out of this that easily. Ryuk told you. This is judgment. Some kind of hell or purgatory, designed to look and feel like something familiar, but actually a punishment all its own. Well. I won't be taken in so easily. _

"Well? You're here to take me on to the next stage? I'm ready to go."

With some effort, Light sat up.

And gasped.

The shadow was too familiar a shape, right down to the shaggy mess of hair that enlarged the shape of his head.

Looking up, it was difficult to make out the face, but there was no question about it; the sillouette was-was-

"RYUZAKI!" Light wailed, his heart suddenly pounding. If he had doubted before that he was loosing his mind, now he was 100% certain. "Is that you?! Speak if it is, damn it!"

The shadow moved. Fists grabbed the bars. The face remained shadowed.

Light sprang to his feet, wincing. He ignored the pain, shaking with dread.

"SPEAK, damn you! If you are L, then _answer _me. If not, then go back to hell where you belong! I won't allow you to impersonate him! DAMN you!"

"Light…" L's voice spoke, calm, uncertain. Real. Too real.

Light rushed forward. It couldn't be; it just _couldn't_ be.

In those few steps, if there had ever been a moment of judgment as he had always been told, it happened right then. As if on a train ride heading straight over a cliff, all Light's memories of the years as Kira, and his false friendship with Ryuzaki, flashed before his eyes.

His hands were upon the bars. They were cold, as real metal should be.

He saw L falling out of his chair, his eyes so wide the red veins strained in their whites…

His fingers closed over the hands from the person on the other side. The dim light of the hallway fell upon the face.

He saw L falling to the ground, saw his own arms catching him, saw his eyes slide closed, peacefully, as he died…

And the face was L's.

Something rose up in him, bubbled up from deep in his gut, up through his throat, and caught-he heard the sound of someone sobbing, and didn't realize it was coming from him.

"Ryuzaki…."

He gripped the long, thin fingers under his own-they were just what L's should feel like. The figure that looked and felt like L gave a small gasp. He might have been gripping too tightly, but he didn't notice.

"Tell me…is it really you? Are you taking me…on?"

"You shouldn't be exerting yourself. You have five shot wounds. You weren't expected to recover and it has been months already since the doctors brought you back from death's door."

"I-"

Light was completely bewildered. This felt like a dream. How could he still be alive?!

He remembered running for a long time, bleeding out onto the street, stumbling into the warehouse and falling on the steps…and _dying_. _Alone._ The last thing he'd thought he'd seen was a shadow of L, who was _dead_…he had thought it was his spirit looking at him from the other side, or, more logically, a memory of him, haunting him in death, because the truth was that the only thing he'd really regretted as Kira was-

"You-were there?!"

"Yes."

"I thought-I thought you were-"

"Dead? Yes. It's true. I was dead."

"Aahh!" Light collapsed, his legs weak. He quickly became aware that his body was in pain all over. He really did feel like he'd been shot five times, and more…

"Light!" L's voice was stern, but alarmed…

"Ryuzaki…tell me…you're real…" the room swam. Darkness closed on him. Light closed his eyes and forgot what he'd been about to say.


	2. A Second Chance

**Story Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: A Second Chance**

**Author's Note: Read and review, and thanks in advance!**

* * *

_Light Yagami._

_As perfect now as ever you were. What were you thinking before you collapsed? Did you want to kill me again? Your nemesis? _

_Or was that remorse I saw in all that anguish? _

_Is it possible? _

_But no._

_Even if it is, I am here for one purpose and one alone, and that is to bring you to justice._

_Remorse or not, it is _your_ time to die._

_I'll save my grief for _after_ you're gone._

"GET OFF ME!" Light roared. There was a crashing around him, but the light from above blinded him and he could not tell what he'd just knocked over. He didn't care. _No_ one was going to mess with _his_ head, in life _or_ in death!

"Mr. Yagami!" An angry, young male voice. Professional-sounding. "Your injuries are extremely serious. We must be allowed to treat you if you expect to make it."

"It's not everyone who gets a second chance like this, Light," said a cold, much more familiar voice, but he could not place it.

Light froze and blinked. Images swam together. He shook his head. The light was giving him a migraine.

"Where am I?! I demand you tell me the truth!"

"You're in no position to make demands, Yagami! Now lie down. Or, if you prefer not to cooperate, perhaps the good doctor will overlook his oath this one time and let you fend for yourself."

The voice was unmistakably venomous, and Light was made certain in that moment that there was nothing otherworldly about this scenario. Whoever was speaking to him now was a typical angry, frightened and uncaring human being. Light lay gingerly back down, and groaned.

"I can't see anything."

"You are unaccustomed to the light," the doctor's voice-he presumed-replied, ironically. "Your vision will return but right now, if you wish to live, you must allow us to examine your progress. When you were shot, some of your vital organs were punctured, including your left lung. As it is, we're at a complete loss to explain how you survived at _all_."

That was a good question. But Light was distracted by another one.

"Ryuzaki…"

"He's dead," the cold, familiar voice said. _And you should be too_, the tone implied. Light allowed the doctor to tend to his wounds; he drifted in and out of consciousness, unable to make out more than the dark figure that blotted out the light under the examining table.

It seemed that he spent countless days in the cell, his body, for the most part, perfectly healed.

He saw no one. A guard appeared in the shadows to provide a tin of modest food, and disappeared. The guard could not be provoked into conversation; he'd already tried, many times.

What little lighting there was in the cell was dim and distant, and seemed to fall across the hall from a tiny opening somewhere out of sight.

Perhaps a small window for ventilation.

It was only when Light had finally resigned himself to an eternity of loneliness that someone spoke.

It was L.

"Light," the deep, smooth voice said, surprisingly close.

Light started out of his half-sleep.

"Ryuzaki," he whispered, then said nothing more, his body perfectly still; if he spoke, the apparition would go away. No one ever answered him when he spoke. Perhaps if he stayed silent, things would be different…

As his eyes adjusted, he noticed a dark shape blending with the bars of his cell.

He jumped up and shuffled across the room. The shape remained there…the shape of L, slouched and solid.

"It _is_ you," Light whispered, more firmly.

And he reached out…touching cool skin and hair where L's face would be.

The other person flinched.

Real.

"Yes-"

"How did you get in?"

"I have my ways. I'll get to that-"

"They said you were dead."

"I _am_ dead. To them, anyway. But let's continue this conversation in a more civilized setting, shall we?"

The figure shifted, and there was a scratching sound. A small flame burst into light, instantly illuminating the face of the L Light remembered. He hadn't changed a bit.

L held the match to a long candle, shook it out, and held the candle between them.

"Now then. Let's a get a look at you…"

His dark eyes, always so tired-looking around the edges, gazed piercingly at him, and Light fell silent. Looking into the eyes of this ghost, he had lost all ability to speak. Too many feelings welled up, the strongest ones being joy and sorrow.

"…Well," L continued, more to himself than to him, "They're at least feeding you, although it would appear you have little appetite. You spend a lot of your time sleeping, but you don't look that well rested. Nightmares, I'd imagine."

"You have no idea," Light half-laughed, finally, his voice sounding absurdly casual to him. He swallowed a lump in his throat. _Come _on_, Light! Get it together. How is this happening? He's faked his own death, that's for certain. But how did he manage to pull it off? I saw his name in the death note, written by Rem…or so I thought. Perhaps the most important question is, why is he here now? _"So. It would appear you managed to escape even death. I knew you were brilliant. Immortal, though…didn't see that coming."

He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the tiniest sparkle in L's eye. Vain as always…

"It's a very long story. Not one I'm interested in telling at the moment, however. What I'd like to address first is-"

L never got a chance to finish his sentence, however, because Light suddenly grabbed his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled, though L gasped.

"What was that for?" L said when he could speak. Light could only find his surprise all the more endearing; it was refreshing to see all the variety of rare expressions he had remembered-and missed.

"I know you'll find it impossible to believe, but I missed you. I'm happy to see you again. I don't care what you think of me. I've always loved you," he said, his voice warm, and L's eyes widened. They reminded him of when he'd collapsed to the floor, mid-sentence, to his "death." It brought a lump to his throat, and he stroked L's face fondly.

Finally, L seemed to gather himself, and grasped both of his wrists.

"Stop that…" he whispered.

"Why?"

"Stop lying. I know you're Kira. You know that I know. So stop."

Light paused. Then he decided to be honest for once in his life. L was the closest thing he'd ever had to a best friend. Even if they were destined to be mortal enemies for eternity, he could think of no one he'd rather share his deepest secrets with-and his greatest accomplishments.

"Yes. I am Kira."

L said nothing.

"And I did try to kill you."

Still, he was silent…his hollow eyes merely gazed back at him, piercing, as if to penetrate the dark secrets of his psyche.

"But I'm not lying. I love you, Ryuzaki." He laughed, suddenly, lightly. "I love you!" And he leaned in to kiss him again, a friendly kiss, which L deftly deflected. "It's no matter. I know you think I'm crazy-"

"You _are_ crazy. You're psychotic."

"Be that as it may, you have a lot of explaining to do. Why am I here? Why did I survive? What's going to happen now? Most importantly, why are _you_ here?"

"I told you it's a long story."

He sounded angry, but Light wasn't sure if it was really directed at him. L turned away, shoving his hands into his pockets. So familiar.

"One I'm not sure I want to tell you just yet. So we'll start with your first question, shall we?"

As if he'd made an internal decision, he looked up, his slouch straightening ever so slightly. "You're here because the taskforce cannot convict you as Kira. The whole case would be laughed out of court. Since we can't convict on charges of consorting with a shinigami and using a death note, the taskforce and Japan intelligence has decided to hold you here, indefinitely, to forget about you unless it can find some other way to dispose of you."

"I see….and you're here to oversee that it happens? Or…" he paced thoughtfully, "to find some way to prove that I killed all those people, without admitting the death note or shinigami as evidence."

"You're getting warmer, but not quite."

Then Light had it.

"There's another death note, isn't there."

He knew L's silent, grave expression meant yes.


	3. Matched

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Matched**

**Author's Note: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to those who reviewed, and all reading, but especially to Dragonist for the exhortation. ;)**

**Please read and review. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Another death note. Excellent. He's playing right into your hands."

L ignored Ryuk. He chewed on his bottom lip, hunched in his chair, thinking. Always thinking. In his right hand, he played with a dark pendulum that hung around his neck. Ryuk eyed the trinket, his eyes glittering.

"Don't forget your promise."

"There's no chance of that. Apple?"

L pulled the apple he'd been hiding to get Ryuk off his back, and held it out by the stem, his fingers curved delicately. Ryuk bit; literally and figuratively.

"You're a much better host than Light ever was," he gushed between bites.

"Yes, well Light's sense of honor leaves something to be desired."

"Don't I know it."

L stared off into nothingness, the pendulum swinging furiously between his fingers.

Across from him, where his customary computer screen would have been in-in his other life, was nothing but an empty bureau. In the mirror were photos, mysterious, seeming to have no rhyme or reason. They were of empty hallways and rooms, and the occasional shadow. Only four had figures: there was a picture of the taskforce, with Light's father in the center, all looking somber and determined.

There was a picture of Misa Amane, Light's ex, who had committed suicide, and one of Light from his high school graduation, smiling brightly, not a care in the world, only a faint shadow hanging over his left shoulder as the girl called Takata stood against him.

And then there was the one of L himself.

On the floor.

Outlined in chalk.

It gave Ryuk the creeps, apparently, as he'd commented on how morbid it was. L had found that rather ironic.

"That's funny," he'd said, totally genuine, and hadn't cracked a smile at all.

"You know," Ryuk gulped, mischievous, as he swallowed the core, "I can see this isn't easy for you. I don't know who you think you're fooling, except maybe yourself. If you aren't careful, Light will have you wrapped around his bloody little finger." His face widened into a hideous grin.

"I'm well aware of the risks. And don't underestimate me, " L murmured, unphased, without missing a beat. Ryuk chuckled, but if he said anything more it was wasted. L was lost in his own thoughts again.

_Yes, it's true…Light struck me to the core. _

_Somehow. _

_Pushed just the right button. _

_A simple kiss. _

_Gratitude? In his moment of loneliness? _

_I suppose even a criminal as evil as Kira can have a moment of repentance. _

_I've seen it before. They always face justice in the end, and that's as it should be. _

_But. _

_If this sudden affection is real…does it change anything? _

_Does it mean he now will tell me the truth, anything I want, if I simply play the game right…no, wait. Kira is the one who plays games. _

_And I will waste my second chance if I fail to uncover his._

He sighed; so forlornly that Ryuk looked at him…but L did not notice.

He felt weakened.

But there was nothing for it.

He fingered the pendulum and thought of Watari, which brought him back…as it always did.

He had a promise to keep.

As if sensing his very thoughts, the pendulum tingled.

* * *

It was bound to happen.

For three weeks, Light remained in seclusion, with L as only an occasional visitor. The whole time, he believed that no one knew of these visits except himself.

They talked about what it was like to be the owner of a death note.

How to narrow down the possibilities.

How to prove the owner guilty of mass murder, without once mentioning a shinigami.

Then, one day, Light was bound and blindfolded by one of his dark keepers, who spoke to him in the harsh voice…the one that sounded vaguely familiar. He still hadn't placed the voice, exactly…

He'd been transported in something…a van, he thought.

An elevator ride, and a walk down a long, long hallway.

Then he was left standing, alone…and soft, smooth hands with long fingers removed the blind.

_Ryuzaki_.

A half a second later, light blinded him and he nearly collapsed on his knees.

Shielding his face with his cuffed hands, he saw that he was in a bright, open room in a high rise.

Looking out of the window, he realized in the next moment that what lay without could not possibly be Japan.

"Where are we?!"

"Where the killer is. Come. We have work to do."

He turned and faced Ryuzaki…who stood, hunched, skin paler in the sunlight than it had seemed underground. His hair was disheveled as ever. Something dark hung around his neck…that was the only difference. Some kind of stone.

Ryuzaki stared back, unblinking.

"You never told me your real name."

"Lawliet."

It was a strange name, and hearing it gave him the strangest sense of déjà vu. After a moment, he asked,

"Aren't you worried about the killer finding out?"

"No…" L replied, without further explanation, and then came forward, key in hand.

As he unlocked Light's handcuffs, Light felt they were both aware of the small space between them. It seemed charged with some kind of excited energy. He breathed it in, accepted it, swished it around like a fine wine. What a unique feeling. He must dissect it, later, if there was time.

When L stepped away, he seemed reluctant to meet his eyes.

Light rubbed his wrists, searching for a way to dig deeper into the strangeness between them.

"So…this new freedom…how long is it meant to last? You must have some kind of security, Ryu-Lawliet. I mean…isn't it enough that Kira tried to kill you once?" He laughed weakly, and then the laugh died in his throat as the dark eyes focused on his. There was something very dark in L's expression, but Light could not understand it.

"Tried, and succeeded." He held up a hand as Light began to question him again. "That's all. Another time. Shall we get to business?"

* * *

"What makes you _so_ sure I would want to help you?"

"I'm not asking for your help. I'm using it. Whether you give it willingly or not."

"Kinky."

L glanced up at him, intrigued.

"Your sense of humor is different."

"Well, when a person gets a second chance at life, I suppose he's allowed to have a bit of a change in perspective, if that's all right with you. Seeing as it doesn't fit into your neat, ordered little world." Light was stretched out on L's bed, exhausted, hungry and bored, all if which made him grouchy.

"We've been at this for hours, L. Can't we please, please talk about something else? Just for a bit?"

L stood, turned his chair around, sat the wrong way in it and stared at him.

"What would _you_ like to talk about?"

"I dunno, anything. _Anything_ but death notes. Jesus. Whatever happened to Misa?"

"She killed herself. You were reported dead, initially."

"Killed herself…how?" He sat up.

"It would only upset you. Wouldn't it?"

Light knew this was a test. Would it? He _did_ feel a little sorry, he mused. But he would not lie and say that he had loved her, because he knew he had not. Still, he was sorry…and maybe that was something new.

"I'd still like to know."

"Threw herself off the 40th floor of a skyscraper."

"Oh."

They were quiet for a moment.

"Wherever she is, I hope she's happy," Light finally said, breaking the silence. He hoped he sounded like he meant it…he _felt _that he meant it, but it still seemed like a weak thing to say.

L fingered the stone around his neck.

"I wouldn't know."

"L, can we please get something to eat? Please?"

"Oh…right…I'd forgotten…there's some food in the refridgerator. I suppose you could make some-"

"Hey…what happened to all your snacks?"

"Huh?"

"You're sugar fix. I'm not used to seeing you go so long without a dessert. What happened? Did you finally kick the habit?"

L's brows furrowed, and he seemed so…distracted. Light found it completely unnerving. What was going on with him?

"I guess I haven't given them much thought."

"L."

"Light."

"Tell me the truth. Please. What's going on here? Why are you so different? Why are you alone here, with me? There's something you're not telling me. I know it. Come on. I've been honest with you."

L's dark eyes flicked up, deep with hidden questions. _Yes, you have. Remarkably. Why?_ They seemed to say. Then something clicked, as if he'd made a decision. The brows smoothed. His face returned to its mild, dispassionate expression, the one Light remembered as his default.

"Well. I suppose there is something I could tell you. It's rather embarrassing, but also rather obvious."

_Finally_. _Something. Hopefully something that made sense._ Light rolled over and leaned on his elbows, watching him intently.

"I have been wondering why you've seemed so happy…yes, that's the word-to see me."

Light smiled.

"I'd say it was an act, but…I've seen you act. And for the first time in our long history, I'm not seeing it. Even with your father, there were only rare moments of what I'd call truth. I would like to know what's behind it."

"I've been thinking about that," Light answered softly. It was true. And every word he would say would be truth, because he _wanted_ L to know. Somehow it just seemed that he should. Even if they continued being enemies, it was right that he should know.

"And I have an answer for you. Now…just hear me out. You know how we were always challenging each other…you always one step behind…or even ahead. All along, you and I have been locked in a battle of wits against each other-but here's the most important thing: We both chose to be. You chose to take on the Kira case, and to challenge me, even to the point of risking your life. And I chose to accept. Why?"

"Because each of us has a strong sense of justice, although only one of us could be right."

"Yes. But that's not the only reason."

"What do you mean?"

Light got up and sat on the edge of the bed. His posture was loose, casual and even slouched…like that of a normal young man's. Not the straight, kingly stance he'd always adopted as Kira. Light didn't notice it, but this had an almost stronger affect on L than his spontaneous kiss.

"You said it yourself, L, once…that you considered me a friend. Your only friend."

There was an unmistakable tinge of red to L's cheeks at this. _Embarrassment, no doubt_.

"At the time, I was a double person. I was, I admit, a little surprised. Touched, even, though I would never have admitted it at the time. Even Ryuk saw it-" for some reason, L flinched at the sound of the shinigami's name, but he plowed on. "When you…_died_, I felt a horrible sense of regret. Even while I felt triumph at exactly the same time."

"You were estatic, I imagine."

"I was. But I also missed you. It's true," he insisted. "When I was Kira-"

"You are still Kira, Light."

"-When I was still using the _death note_, Ryuzaki, I only listened to one side of me. The Kira side. I was totally obsessed with winning. But I still had feelings. I was doubling. You've heard of that, I'm sure."

"Of course. It's a common psychological phenomenon with some of the most ruthless serial killers. Their ability to be perfectly human and perfectly monstrous at exactly the same time. But it never changes them from being killers."

"No, it doesn't, and I'm not arguing that it does. Listen, I'm not trying to plead my case. I know what I've done. And I'm not saying I'm totally remorseful, either."

They stared evenly at each other for a moment in silence. Then Light's gaze softened.

"I have a long way to go before I could ever truly understand all I've done. Surely you can understand that."

"Go on."

"The point is, though, that I _am_ human. There is still humanity in me, L. I felt sadness for my father, even though I lied to him. I didn't want him to know what I was."

"That's true," L said, seemingly to himself.

"I…I should have cared more for Misa, but she got in my way so much I hardly noticed her. And she was so much like me, in a way, that I found her particularly loathsome."

"There's no difficulty understanding that, even if she did come to a sad end."

"But the most important thing is, without the death note, and having been so close to death, having had to face the truth and see myself for what I am…look," he struggled, "I know this is going to sound incredibly cheesy. But I don't care. It's the truth. I've promised to tell you the truth, and I'm going to keep that promise. Without the death note, some of my humanity has returned. I swear it. My sins might not be erased, but a lot of my hatred has been. I can see more clearly than ever now."

Light's voice took on an edge of passion that made L shiver. He recognized this glint in Light's eyes…the glint of a new obsession. But what _was_ it?!

"I see now that you were always my friend, and I was always meant to be yours. In fact, we have a…a _bond_, that no one else can have with either one of us…"

"A…bond?"

"Yes. You're my nemesis. My equal. My best friend. My _match_."

The words hung in the air.

A shadow rose in the room, looming over the both of them, but only one of them noticed.

Light's heart soared with triumph…there was a new beginning on the wind.

L's heart sank with terror. The beginning of the end.

He fingered the pendulum, in vain hoping to soothe its anger.


	4. Love Like Sugar

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Love Like Sugar**

**Author's Note: Okay, all you oh-so-patient readers, you're being rewarded at last. Finally the steam is rising. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter as I worked very hard to get to it without rushing the quality of the story.**

**Now it would be really great if you could leave me a comment or two...let me know what you're thinking, what you like, and anything that's confusing! And I promise, more will come. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Sooooooooo. Light has a new obsession."

"Yes, Ryuk. It appears he is growing infatuated with me. Which makes my job easier."

L lay on his bed, staring at the black ceiling. Shadows danced on the walls from the hundreds of cars and city lights outside. He had not bothered to close the shades. The death god hovered over him, leaning on one elbow as if supported upon a surface. It was clear he was amused.

"And harder."

_Perhaps._

"What will you do?"

"It depends. I will see how far it will take us."

"You only have a little time."

_Yes. Not much time at all._

"Light's sanity is very fragile, Ryuk. Without much help from me, he has already decided to make a savior out of me."

"How do you figure?"

"Watch. You'll see." L was tired; explaining things to Ryuk made him feel old, spent. It was merely a reminder that his days were numbered. "He cannot change his nature. Light will always be complicated by the desire to have a crusade. What will be different this time, however, is for the first time, he will recognize an authority over himself. A…partner."

"Ahhhhh…." Ryuk rolled over. His grin was too large. "So _that's_ what you mean. You're going to use his obsession to make him your disciple. I love it!"

_You are so dull, Ryuk_.

"But the best part is that you will get something out of it as well."

L said nothing.

"You'll have his devotion, and he'll have his crusade. So very, _very_ interesting!"

L rolled over himself so that he would no longer see the spirit that dogged his every step. On the night table lay the black pendulum, which shifted of its own accord ever so slightly. He closed his eyes, weary.

"Yes. Whatever would you do without us to entertain you, I wonder."

* * *

"L! I didn't know if I'd see you today."

Light stood up, his face alight with happiness. He had been sitting by the small table in his room, staring out of the window.

L closed the door behind him; it appeared to be activated by a remote embedded in a bracelet he wore.

"Of course. We still have much work to do." He stood about halfway through the room, seemingly unsure of where he should be. Light smiled. He had already thought a lot of things through.

"No need. I've already figured some things out."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Would you like to hear my theory?"

"Naturally."

"Well," he began, approaching the detective slowly, "for starters, I know who is the owner of the new death note."

L raised an eyebrow, and the corner of Light's lips turned up all the more.

"You."

L seemed to freeze. After an instant, the tip of his tongue darted out ever so slightly and licked his lips. He must be nervous. Light was filled with glee, because he knew he was right. Now he shared Lawliet's secret; he would not have to be burdened with it any longer. And now, Light could prove to him that he truly had amended his ways. He took a deep breath.

"Judging by your silence, I'm guessing I'm not altogether that far from the mark."

"And if I am?"

A chill went through Light suddenly; it was a chill of excitement. Up till now, it seemed perfectly logical that L could be the only owner of the latest death note. There were too many signals; it was clear that Light's captives, whomever they were, _did_ know that L was alive. It was also suspicious that no one else seemed to be a part of the case.

But the idea that the one pinnacle of justice that had outshone him in life, might be a more deadly killer than even Kira…there was something about confronting a dangerous L that _turned him on_.

He took a step closer.

"If you are, then it can mean only one thing."

"And what's that?"

"Well, if I'm right, it's unlikely that you've been corrupted by it. Yet. I mean, I know better than anyone how much it can affect someone who might have the best intentions in the world. But, I also know that's the difference between you and I. You, my friend, are incorruptible."

"You're so certain."

"Yes."

He took a few more steps.

"Your sense of justice is absolute. You have experience behind it, unlike I did when I first began to be Kira. Also, you have people to be accountable to. I didn't."

"You really believe that's all it takes? What of your family?"

L's cheeks were pink.

_I know I'm right,_ Light thought with pleasure. His own face grew warm. He shook his head.

"That's another thing. I had a family that pampered me. I was their hero. I never had to prove anything to them; they just loved me." The thought of it made him a little sad…but soon, he would make it up to them. "You never had a family of your own. Yes, I know about you."

He stepped closer. He was face to face with L now; the same charge of energy seemed to pass between them, as if they were trapped in a bubble of their own heat. L was taller than he, but with his slouch, it was often hard to tell. Now, however, slouch and all, they were about the same height.

"I was wrong, the first time around. I cannot handle the responsibility of having the power to carry out judgement. I am too cold. Too quick to sentence others to death. And far too competitive. Even now. But you…you are the only one who can do it. With me at your side, doing things the _right_ way, we can carry out justice in the world. I can help you with your work. If you'll have me."

L's lips parted, his dark eyes held ill-concealed surprise. Light was thrilled; he loved L more than ever. He was so strong, and yet, so vulnerable. He could feel it in his bones; he was going to make things right after all. _This_ was _right_.

He leaned in and…paused when L flinched, but did not move. Then he kissed him, lightly, softly, on the lips. And this time, it was too tender to be mistaken for anything innocent. L's lips were soft, a bit chapped, and sweet. _Mm_, he thought, a pool of excitement growing in his belly.

"Will you? Teach me?"

"I…I think…"

Light waited, not wanting to rush him. Would he refuse? Would he deny his own feelings? Surely L, who had probably never kissed anyone, let alone been wanted the way Light wanted him, would not be able to resist, "straight" or not! More importantly, however, he could not deny how perfectly they were matched. The charge between them was unmistakable.

"I think…there are some holes in your theory," L finally answered.

"You mean, the part about you having the death note?"

"Just some holes," he said softly.

Light rested his arms on L's shoulders and smiled into his face, trying to reassure him and looking for a crack in his emotionless exterior at the same time.

"Whatever you say. You don't have to share all your secrets with me. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to. But all the same, there're some things I'd like to share with you. Beginning with this."

And he kissed him again, and again…played with L's lips, tasting him, kissing him continuously.

At first, L was stiff. He allowed Light to kiss him, allowed him to take his face in his hands for leverage, let him rock them slightly back with his enthusiasm.

Then, as if a charge had gone off, his body became loose and lithe.

He moved his mouth against Light's, tenderly at first, then more urgently.

Light moaned, soft, barely audible.

L kissed him harder, faster.

When Light broke for air he gave a nervous laugh.

"Wow…"

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing wrong." He cupped L's face with his palms, smiling mischievously. "I can't believe it's this good."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I've kissed a lot of people. Women, of course. I first made out when I was only thirteen. That's the last time I felt like this, the last time it was this strong." He held his hand out, grinning. "Look at this. I'm actually shaking."

L's dark eyes drifted downward and a soft puff of air escaped from his parted lips, but he said nothing.

"You know what I mean?"

"I've never kissed anyone before," L said, his voice very low, very soft.

Light stared at him, his smile frozen. Excitement surged up from between his legs. Like the first time all over again.

He threw himself for L again. L's slender, hard body caught his force, met it, returned it…they gasped, panted, listening to the sound of their breathing as they kissed…desire built up between them like a train on fire, hurtling toward the end of the line...

He pushed his tongue into L's mouth, and L accepted it, sucking lightly.

"Ohh…god…"

"Light…"

"Yes…"

"Light…"

"Ohh…"

"Wait…I…"

"Mmmmmm…"

"Stop, stop…" L was pushing him away, breathing hard, a red tinge pinking his pale face. He kept his hands up as if he were standing at gunpoint. Light stared at him, his mouth hanging open, noting every nuance of L's heaving body, lust boiling in him hot and hard…

"What's the matter?"

L stammered a little as he talked, as if trying to catch his breath. Light found it endearing.

"Iiiiit just ssseems so fast…"

"Yeah, I know." Grinning, he leaned in, excited at the thought that he was giving L such a powerful first experience. "That's the best way."

"Perhaps, but I don't know if, if…I'm ready…if _you're_ ready-"

"Ready for what?"

L couldn't answer, and Light kissed him playfully, pecking him on the lips.

"We're just…"

He moved his lips down along L's neck, his pleasure intensifying when he felt L shudder ever so slightly.

"…kissing…that's all."

"Uhhhh…" L leaned his head back and closed his eyes, giving Light's mouth better access.

"That's it…" Light whispered, his lips touching L's ear.

And something clicked.

_I enjoy this…this power. It's like being Kira again. Maybe better. No one's getting hurt, this time. And…we're both getting something we want._

"…Enjoy it. You deserve this."

L swallowed.

"You are lethal."

"I aim to please. In _everything_."

Light's right hand wandered softly, slowly, down…down along L's chest, twisting the white t-shirt in its fingers, straying close to his jeans…and stopped.

_No. Not yet. _

He moved his hand back up and held L by the neck, kissing him deeply.

_L's not ready for that. Let him enjoy this. It's all new to him. And it's new for me, too. All over again._


	5. Stoking the Hellfire

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Stoking the Hellfire**

**Rating: M for sexual content and some language.**

**Author's Note: As promised! It's like I can't stop writing this one. Thanks for the TWO-COUNT THEM- reviews I got last time. It's hard to know if anyone's even reading these...I'd love to know what people think! It really does help me keep writing when I know I've got to keep some readers happy. I get distracted very easily. ;) Just look at when I started my OTHER unfinished stories.**

**All right, no more biatching. Without further ado...enjoy!**

* * *

Cold water splashed over his hair and face.

Steam rose from his skin.

_That's better…_

L turned his face to the showerhead and let the water wash all the heat away.

_How did I let it get so close?_

He breathed deeply, shakily, and the steam from his breath coated the tiles in front of him.

He was grateful that Ryuk was nowhere in sight.

He must have stayed to watch Light for a little while.

"Kira…why did you have to kiss me like that?" he whispered aloud.

A moment longer, and the cold water washed away all evidence of his lust.

He sighed.

"It's no matter. This is all part of the plan. Ryuk was just right; it's hard for me…harder than I'd ever imagined."

He turned his head, glancing over his shoulder. The bathroom was foggy, but empty behind the steamy glass shower doors. He was glad he could not see his expression in the mirror, which was nothing but a blur.

Still no Ryuk.

As for the black pendulum that was Rem, he'd left it sitting safely on his night table, where he'd taken it off as quickly as possible while he stripped for his cold shower.

_Harder than I could ever have imagined. _

* * *

"You're doing it again," L murmured in Light's ear.

Light shivered.

L could practically taste his excitement. He held him lightly around the waist, his arms resting on Light's stomach, wishing he had the courage to embrace him with the whole strength of his need.

_I never thought seduction would be one of my natural abilities…nice to know I can perform to task if necessary._

"I was just thinking. Feel free to distract me." Light leaned back, smiling and giving L's mouth better access to his neck. His hair brushed L's small nose; it smelled fresh and clean.

Light had taken the pendulum off L's neck, and now hung it from its chain, turning it around and around. He let it hang still. Of its own accord, it began to swing in a slow circle, then furiously.

"What is this? I know it has something to do with why you're keeping me here."

"Haven't you figured it out yet?"

"Stop teasing me."

L smiled and grazed his neck slowly with his lips.

"Well, do you expect me to make it easy for you? What would be the fun in that?"

"Ohh…you have the _sexiest_ voice, you know that?"

It was all L could do to contain a broad grin of pleasure at this compliment. He ached to kiss him…

As if reading his mind, Light turned his head. He met L's lips and kissed them meaningfully. They both held nothing back.

"This is so…unexpected," L admitted, when he'd caught his breath.

"Is it really? With all that draws us to each other? Why should this be so strange?"

"It's unexpected because as far as I know, you've never shown an interest in other men before. Was there nothing between you and Misa? I know you did not feel the way about her that she did about you, but-"

"It's interesting, Ryuzaki." Light frowned. "I can tell you…Misa knew every trick in the book, when it came to sex. And I mean _every_ trick."

Light remembered it all as he talked…all the embarrassingly promiscuous outfits, the overly submissive behavior, the toys…all the things Misa had done to get his attention.

"She tried everything to make me love her, and I made love to her plenty of times, and I enjoyed it all right…but my mind was always somewhere else…never did I stop thinking about my work. Even while she was taking care of my needs, I found myself annoyed with her and every little thing she did and said. There was nothing about her that provoked passion in me. Every time I've been with a woman, it's been a little like that…maybe because they made it so easy for me, practically worshipped the ground I walked on…I don't know. So no, I've never really noticed another man before, let alone been attracted to one…but then, I've never felt about _anyone_ the way I feel about you, L."

L was mesmerized. When he did not speak, Light turned to look at him.

"What about you, L?" He smiled conspiratorially. "Am I really the first man you've wanted?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly.

_I suppose, in a way, each quarry I've chased has made me feel some level of excitement, something, perhaps, like what Light feels for me…but there's no doubt about it. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that my feelings for Light have always been stronger than they've been for anyone, except of course for Watari, the closest thing I've had to a father…_ But that was too difficult to think about.

"Now _you're _thinking too hard," Light said playfully. He leaned back and stroked L's face. "I think you need to relax."

"Easy for you to say."

"So," Light suddenly sat up and looked at him, all business. "Are you going to tell me about the stone?"

_Hmm. Looks like I'm dealing with Kira again,_ L thought with reluctance.

"It's a pendulum. I'm certain a well-educated person like yourself has heard of them."

"Yes, but as a jewelry item, seems rather superstitious for the likes of you. I've seen mediums with these."

"They're used for a variety of reasons, Light, but you are correct. It's usually a function relating to the spiritual realm. Seeing as how we're both aware of the existence of shinigami, it should not come as that much of a surprise that I might decide to acknowledge spiritual powers in my own life."

"Still. Seems uncharacteristic of you. I recall you never used to pay much attention to those kinds of things. In fact, you didn't want to believe they existed, at first."

"Yes. Well. None of that is very relevant," he answered, his voice sharper. "You've asked me to be more truthful. The real matter is that you were right, the other day, when you said you could help me with your work. That's why I've brought you here."

L noticed that Light's eyes widened, glittered…

_Kira again_.

"I knew it."

"It's not the work you think, either. You were also right that I would not allow the death note to corrupt me. Neither can I allow it to fall into the wrong hands again. Seeing as how my philosophy of the world has had to expand to include the existence of shinigami, the nature of my work naturally must change as I'm working at a severe disadvantage. The question is whether or not I can trust you. Truly trust you."

"I see…" Light answered softly, his face open as he took it all in.

"After all, you are a killer. A mass murderer, to be exact. And, Light, I must confess, I'm still having a bit of a moral crisis over this. There are far too many people who would be just as happy to see you dead, if they could just get their hands on you. You might even say I was one of them," L finished hesitantly, and his voice had taken on a dark, secretive tone.

They said nothing, killer and captor sitting side by side, each pulled so strongly to the other by some invisible force that wanted nothing more than to merge them as one. Each separated from the other in lonliness by his own mortal fate.

"So it's as I thought." Light finally spoke. "You've saved my life. From them...and from myself."

"Yes."

Then it dawned on him.

"Then you've always had feelings for me. Even though every moral fiber of your being is against it, you couldn't let me die."

"I suppose you could say that."

"Suppose nothing, L. You're not fooling me."

They were silent again. Light stared hard at the floor, as if trying to make some kind of decision. Then he looked up.

"Remember that day, when you wiped my feet, after we stood in the rain?" he asked softly.

L paled.

"Yes. What about it?" he whispered.

"I've never forgotten that, you know. The way you treated me, like a friend…closer than a friend, a brother. You humbled yourself to me, like you were surrendering. That's what I thought it was a first. But I knew deep down later that wasn't what made me so uncomfortable. It was more than that. You had _mercy_ on me…what you really were showing me, was forgiveness."

L felt unbelievably uncomfortable…it was a painful memory. Having it called back to his mind made him clam up…his words were swallowed in his throat. He folded into himself on the couch and fiddled with his hands…but Light, if he noticed, was gracious enough not to acknowledge this.

"Some might even say it was the highest form of love," Light finished.

It was the most courageous thing he'd ever said in his life, and it freed him all the more. The dark part of him, the part that was Kira, twisted, wounded, warped, receded dramatically…it pulled into a shadowy part of his memory and hid there, hoping to be forgotten. The part of him that had been Light, the part who loved his father and mother and sister, and felt grief and remorse for the death of his closest friend, surged into his being to fill the void.

The change was visibly perceptible. L's mouth dropped ever so slightly, and he suddenly felt like he'd like nothing more than to curl up into a pinprick of a molecule and disappear. But he sat there, paralyzed by love.

He glared.

"What are you doing?"

Slowly, Light was reaching up and unbuttoning his shirt. The skin that peeked out underneath was smooth, lean and muscular…

L found it hard to breathe.

"I think it's time I returned the favor."

In another moment, Light had gotten to his hands and knees and climbed onto the sofa.

L drew back, but Light was crouching over him, his eyes aflame…and he was subdued.

Light straddled him, curled into L's body in a position of pure intimacy. It was something beyond what had passed between them before, and yet, if it were possible to believe, more powerful in its passion.

L's chest hurt.

Being loved hurt.

A lot.

More than loving someone who didn't love you back.

More than being alone.

Light kissed him tenderly, and L kissed him back, though his hands clutched the cushions beneath them.

"I wanted so much to do something for you. It's not much…" Light gasped, grabbing L's white t-shirt by the collar and clutching it, his knuckles white, _willing_ L to believe him, to understand… "…but I can show you I mean it. I know I can help you."

"Then help me, Light. Prove that I can trust you," L tried, his voice composed…but inside his heart pounded. Heat rose throughout his body and the blood rushed in his ears-he felt himself harden against Light's weight and was embarrassed. Surely he must feel that he was aroused. Would he have control? Or had he already lost this battle to Kira…again?!

"I will. I promise…" Light breathed. "But not right now. I want to do something else."

L could feel that Light was also hard-

Light was gently rubbing against him, his face flushed, his breathing loud and heavy as he gazed into his eyes.

_Kira's eyes_.

"What then?!"

Light's hands wandered down to L's jeans, and without breaking their gaze, he unbuttoned them-

L gasped.

-Slowly he unzipped the front. He could see the bulge of L's erection.

He slipped a hand in and held it.

He smiled.

L grabbed his wrist.

"No, let me. I promise. It will be okay," he insisted, and L's hold loosened. His jaw was tight and tense.

Light leaned forward and kissed him, hoping to distract him.

His hand rubbed gently.

L's mouth was warm and wet.

His body shuddered.

It was a hard, lean body…deceptively stronger than it looked, as L had once warned him.

L's hands clutched and unclutched, coming at last to rest on Light's thighs.

He realized Light had exposed him and was now holding his naked flesh.

"Ohh…noo…Light…" he whispered, desperate, undone.

Light's hand was gentle, strong and adept.

L rested his head back against the arm of the couch, closing his eyes, terrified at any moment of seeing a shinigami grinning at him, mocking his pleasure and his agony.

His breath now came out in long, hard sighs.

It seemed to excite Light.

Light was bending down.

He was moving, stretching lengthwise across L's body…

He was lowering his head to L's torso…

Lifting the shirt…

Kissing and sucking him…

He was…

"Ahh-hhhha!" L yelled, unable to control himself.

Light looked up, smiled almost apologetically, his auburn hair undisturbed except for a slight feathering about his flushed face, his eyes shining, his chest bare…looking like a saint. He lowered his head again and L watched his powerful shoulders writhe as he strove to please him.

He made L come.

L's body lurched hard, up against Light, who held onto his waist, his lips still wrapped around his dick, sucking _hard_…

"_God!!!_ _LIGHT!"_

Then he licked him clean.

L was still shaking.

Blood pounded in his ears.

It was quiet…Light rested his head against L's shoulder, kissed his cheek, embraced him.

Two feelings battled for dominance in him: they were the most powerful elation he'd ever felt, and shame…but he shook this away. Naturally, feeling so naked, so out of control, having never shared this kind of intimacy with someone, of course he would be feeling a little chaste. What was wrong with being loved? Perhaps he could get used to it, be happy, like other people-

_No. I'm not like other people. _

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." L forced his own hand to lift from Light's waist and touch him. He stroked the back of his hair ever so lightly.

"Well? How was I?" Light sounded amused as well as curious.

"Amazing. But don't take this the wrong way: Who am I to judge?"

"Ah. You mean you don't have a basis for comparison."

"Sorry, no."

"That's all right. Seemed like you enjoyed it to me."

Light sat up, obviously pleased with himself.

"Must have been new for you, though," L pointed out.

"It wasn't so strange. I liked doing that. I really like seeing you like that, L."

"What, incapacitated? You would."

"Losing control."

"What is it with everyone and wanting to make me lose control?"

L tried to sit up and reach for his zipper to close it. He felt exposed and a little dirty.

"It's just you're so calm and cool all the time. People get curious. It's always excited me to see a little passion from you. This was more incredible than I'd hoped. I'm glad I'm the only one who got to see it. I'm glad it was for me."

Light really did look happy.

"Oh god…" L forced him off his waist, sat up and buried his head in his hands.

"What is it?" Light asked, now a little alarmed.

"This changes everything, Light. You wanted me to trust you. Every day, you make it harder and harder for me not to. I feel I should tell you…I feel I should…"

"Tell me what?!"

L stood straight up and stared down at him. His eyes were so dark and cold that Light drew back, a little threatened.

"Tell you _nothing_."

He grabbed the pendulum, shoved it in his pocket, and stomped out of the room without another word.

"L. L! _Wait_, dammit! You _asshole_!"

Light was left in the gathering darkness to stare at the bolted door, angry, hurt and bewildered.


	6. Shrouded in Darkness

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Shrouded in Darknes**

**Rating: M for sexual content and some language.**

**Author's Note: Just when you thought your author had forgotten…things continue heating up! Thanks again for the most recent reviews, and I hope you enjoy! This story is almost ended.**

* * *

The sheets were soaked.

L felt himself thrash wildly about in the dark as some heavy force restrained him…then he heard Light's voice, telling him to stop.

"Huh?!" he gasped, his eyes flying open.

"L! Are you awake?"

L groaned. Though his eyes had not yet adjusted, he could sense the warm, dark shape next to him.

"You were having a nightmare. I've never heard a man scream like that."

"Sorry." There wasn't much else to say. L was mortified. He had forgotten, momentarily, where the terror came from, but the nightmare was beginning to come back to him in vague vignettes now that Light had mentioned it.

"What were you dreaming about, Lawliet?"

"Oh…nothing. Dying."

He heard a soft, sharp gasp from Light. He knew he had hit below the belt, but he could not seem to stop himself. Every second he oscillated back and forth between trusting Light and fearing him. He had hurt him once. Could he let himself be hurt by Light again? But then again, did he have any choice, if he wanted Light eating out of the palm of his hand? He had only 72 hours left.

Light's cool hand suddenly touched the back of his neck.

"Lie down," he asked, softly.

L obeyed…slowly, gingerly, he lay back, guided by Light. He found himself pillowed awkwardly on Light's chest; he did not dare move. He held his breath. Closed his eyes. Laying against him felt so good…

Fingers stroked his hair casually, carefully wavering between friendly and romantic affection.

"What were you dreaming about? Tell me the truth." Light's voice was low and naked. _Light, not Kira._

"I can't."

"Don't want to talk about it."

"Not really, no."

They were quiet for a moment.

"You called my name," Light blurted, and it was obvious that he had been pleased by this, but was ashamed to admit it.

"You were in danger…but anyway, it was just a dream. A stupid dream. I'd like to go back to sleep now."

"I'm sorry, L. To be honest, I had trouble sleeping myself. So I just contented myself with watching you."

L gazed at his outline in the darkness, shocked. Light lay bare-chested, stretched out beneath him languidly. Even in the night, his face shadowed, he was beautiful to L. He could feel his heartbeat when he lay against him. His stomach knotted up in anguish. He wanted so much to be free to believe that this really was love, to forget all about his promise, to pretend there was no tomorrow that would ruin this absolutely perfect eternity…

"You were watching me sleep?"

"All night," Light admitted. He suddenly leaned forward and kissed him gently, holding still against L's lips. When he lay back again, L could tell he was gazing admiringly at him in the darkness. He wondered if Light could see all he was feeling on his face, or if, like his own, it was a mere shape.

They said nothing, and L, relaxing into his position upon Light's chest, closed his eyes and breathed in the warmth that clothed them. In the darkness, nothing else mattered after all. He felt small and weak. _If I had my life to live over again, if I had known what was really worth having, I would have this…touching someone, and letting them touch me._

He was almost dozing when Light spoke again.

"You know what I thought about almost every day, after you were gone?"

"What?"

"That night out in the rain…"

"That again?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?" L pretended to be indifferent, even annoyed, but he loved to hear Light speak about that night. Reliving was almost like living.

Light sighed blissfully.

"I think…that moment on the steps, when you rubbed my feet, and I wiped your face…remember that?"

"Yes." _Of course_.

"I felt like we started something there. I could never get rid of that feeling. I thought about it often. It was like we just got the guts to start something. But we never got to finish it. I've wanted to finish it ever since. Take up where we left off."

L's pulse sped up with pleasure.

"I'd say you've done that, especially after…the other day. Wouldn't you?"

"Oh, stop trying to be so nonchalant, L. _We_ are making up for it. Aren't we? Are you going to tell me it was all one-sided? What made you wipe my feet that day? You can't hide it from me. You were in love with me."

In the darkness, L could hear Light smiling.

"I was crazy about you," he admitted softly.

"Yeah. It was pretty obvious."

"And you, Light? Did you love me too?" He could hear the fear in his own voice now, high and almost childlike. It terrified him. And yet, what did he have to lose now? He had to know, and words came now without his bidding…something about time ticking away your last hours like a great cosmic clock made you able to say anything at any moment.

"Yeah. I couldn't help it. I hated you, but I loved you for it. And you were so pitiful, so obviously infatuated, it was hard not to feel something for you."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

Light laughed, and buried his fingers affectionately in L's shaggy hair.

"There were other moments, before then, when I knew I was falling for you though. I think I was just so power happy, it was always a sexual thing with me. Either that, or I told myself I was feeling sorry for you. I wouldn't let it be anything else."

"You seem like you've thought about this."

"Yeah. Well, I've had time to think."

"So what now?"

"Why are you asking me? You're the mad genius, remember? The man with the plan?"

L smiled ruefully. He could see Ryuk's eyes glittering across the room; apparently he'd been watching all night, too, but aside from his unnerving, predatory grin, he had been mercifully quiet.

"All my plans have almost run out. There's just one left."

"What's that?"

"Shhh…I'll tell you in the morning," he said mysteriously, and felt Light shudder against him.

"But why? Why do you keep teasing me?"

"Because it doesn't matter right now. Just kiss me."

"What?"

"You heard me. _Do_ it," he commanded, and in another moment, Light heaved himself up, letting L fall back onto the bed, and bent over him, kissing him deeply. His body was a furnace as it pressed and shifted against L's. L sighed in his mouth.

"You're very passionate," L murmured as soon as Light pulled back just enough for them to breathe. Light traced his lips and jaw with his thumb as if memorizing every inch of L's face by touch.

"Yeah. We have a lot of lost time to make up for." Light grazed L's jawline with his lips, kissing his throat and fingering the mess of hair on the nape of his neck.

L shivered.

"You like that." It was not a question.

"Yes," L breathed.

Light had slipped his fingers underneath L's t-shirt, gently separating it from the raggedy old sweats he slept in and leaving enough space to caress his bare skin.

"Ohhh…please…don't…" L begged, perfectly aware that his voice conveyed the exact opposite of his words. Light made him feel so…so…

"You want me as much as I want you," Light stated, as if this were the most obvious fact in the world.

"Yes…you're right. I want you."

"And I want you to have me."

"I…We can't."

"If that's true, then why did you let me sleep in your bed tonight?" Light challenged, his hand resting momentarily on L's torso. L was breathing heavily. Thoughts raced feverishly through his head, thoughts of Watari, Ryuk, shinigami, the taskforce, Misa, Whammy's house, Near and Mello, the clock tower, a piece of cheesecake…Ryuk's eyes glittered across the room. He looked into L's eyes as if to say, _Please don't stop on my account! This is getting more and more interesting by the second!_

"You're right. I wanted you."

"Yesss…" Light breathed, excited, and began to cover L's body with kisses. They shuddered and writhed against each other, swept up in their passion, the open truth of their desire a powerful aphrodisiac.

L pushed him over and took the top, grabbing his hair and holding him down while he kissed Light so hard he could feel his teeth against his lips.

Reaching below, he could feel Light's hard erection through the silk pajamas he had left for him in his dresser…he began to pull them down around his waist, intoxicated by the perfect shape of his hips and thighs. Light was so beautiful…

Light helped him.

"_Take_ me! Do it…" Light hissed in his ear, and L pushed him back down to the bed.

"No," L whispered back mercilessly, wanting to keep the passion of this night unspoiled by consummation, forever on the edge of the cliff, but never able to spill over.

"Please…" Light begged.

"I don't know how, and neither do you," L said dispassionately. Light's desperation fueled his desire even more, but now he savored his power.

"Bullshit, L," Light said, sounding almost serious. "You're a smart man. You know exactly what you're doing. Take me!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Light pushed up and bit L's ear, just enough to hurt but not to draw blood.

"_Bastard_!" L pushed him back down, holding him with the strength of his whole body. Light pushed his hips up against him, grinding.

But in the end, he couldn't. They wrestled, stroked each other, and L brought Light to climax. Light lay beneath him, panting in a pool of sweat, while L kissed his body tenderly, worshiping every perfect inch. As L dropped off to sleep, Light returned the favor, and they both drifted off in each other's arms, exhausted and deliciously comforted.

"You'll tell me in the morning…about the dream," Light murmured as consciousness left him.

"Yes. In the morning," L whispered back, happily realizing that no shinigami now darkened the other corner of the room.


	7. Deathworld Secrets

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Deathworld Secrets**

**Rating: M for sexual content and some language.**

**Author's Note: Why did I ever stop writing this? Way too much fun. ;)**

"I don't think Rem is very happy with you," said the monstrous, leering shinigami somberly.

L grunted, the pendulum hanging from his fingers and twirling wildly.

"Rem will have his vengeance soon enough," L whispered.

He was alone.

Light still asleep, morning had come, and L's deputies would be expecting his instructions.

They were counting on him. The world was counting on him.

L leant over the desk in the luxury suite, a room on a random floor that he had taken care never to visit when Light was around. The desk, a heavy, beautiful oak with multiple cabinets and drawers and shelves that slid out conveniently from every section, remained locked and took on the appearance of a simple writing desk when completely closed.

The death note lay on the table before him, opened to one page with one scrawl on it, and L sat with his disheveled head in one hand while he absentmindedly dangled the pendulum from the other. Never would he sit before the death note without it. A few other papers in a neat pile lay next to it, and underneath that, an opened binder, crisp and professional-looking.

"Wouldn't this be a lot faster with a computer?" Ryuk said after a pause, startling L from his thoughts again.

"I have no need. It doesn't matter…" he murmured, not, apparently, explaining things to Ryuk's satisfaction.

Ryuk flipped upside down, sitting cross-legged on the ceiling, and sulked.

"I'm just trying to help."

"Matter…energy."

"What?" Ryuk was interested now.

L was rubbing his hair, his eyebrows wrinkled, straining.

That was unusual. This human did not usually make _expressions_ when he was figuring things out. Figuring things out was his natural state of being, his _flow_, his vibration. What was so new to him, that he actually had to _work_ at figuring it out?

"What did you say?" The shinigami pestered again, when L remained silent.

L turned around.

"You say we become nothingness when our names are written in the death note."

"Did I stutter?"

L waved this away. His dark eyebrows still pinched together, and his eyes were alive with child-like alertness. Ryuk was intrigued, but trying not to show it. If he cooperated, maybe he'd get another apple…he was really getting spoiled by this human...but don't show too much how he liked him…

"You don't really believe that, do you," L said.

"Believe in the power of the death note? Um, god of death!" Ryuk raised his eyebrows and tried his best to imitate human sarcasm. He could never really be sure what he looked like when he materialized in this heavy realm. "I think I know firsthand about things relating to death, you know, since, it's just what I live and breathe…that's all…"

But L still wasn't really listening. He was _probing_. How annoying! He wasn't Light, or some other human who had something to hide. Why all these complicated games? Where was his apple!

"But you can't really believe in nothingness, can you."

"I've seen it."

This, L knew, was true…or at least, as far as Ryuk knew.

"You're afraid of it," L mused softly.

"Well, what do you expect? I exist in the realm all of _your _kind are afraid of coming to. I don't exactly have much to be afraid of, except that I'll stop existing. I've seen my kind disappear, and it isn't pretty. And I've never seen them again, either."

"And _that's_ not true," said L, noting the shinigami's surprise.

"What do you mean it's not true? Are you calling me a liar?" Ryuk spluttered, trying to sound ominous. For anyone else, it probably would have worked. But L was onto something; he could see it.

"You've seen that there's more."

"I've seen life, death, and nothingness. Nothing more."

"Oh, there's something more. Something that happens to your essence, when it is eliminated from your realm. But you don't know what it is."

"I've never seen anything more," Ryuk insisted, but he sounded a little less sure of himself. _God_ he could use an apple right now!

L stood up and turned to face him, leaning against the desk, hands jammed in his pockets. Gone were the wrinkled eyebrows.

_Sure_.

"Okay, you've never seen it yourself, maybe. But you suspect. You've _heard_ about it," L guessed, ignoring Ryuk's nervous eyes darting from him to the cupboard where he knew some fresh apples were kept in a cooler.

He couldn't stand it much longer.

"Okay, I've heard others speak of it…maybe. Death gods have to have something to believe in, don't they?"

"How fascinating," pondered L, "You all have your own mythology, don't you."

Ryuk rolled his eyes and turned about the right way, hovering.

"I wouldn't go that far. It'll come up once in a while, in conversation, when there's nothing else to talk about. You can always tell the ones who fixate on the idea. Ones who can't accept our fate, to be death, all the time, forever. The same ones who think we were something before we were what we are now. I never spent much time thinking about all that crap," Ryuk said bluntly, but, L guessed, he was perhaps wondering why he _hadn't_ thought more about it.

"And what did they say, these death gods, who sought evolution?"

"Evolution? Don't be ridiculous. That's such a sentimental human concept. There's always something more, ohhh, someday, we'll be back, but just different….blech." Ryuk's voice dripped with sarcasm, but there was a small battle going on within, to L's amusement. He reached down and opened the drawer. Ryuk's eyes grew even wider than usual, if such could be possible.

"But," continued Ryuk, as L reached down, took out a crisp, green, delicious apple and hefted it before tossing it to him, "there are some who are less sentimental…some…who clearly…have some experience…toying with things…they shouldn't…" L gazed at him, riveted, as the shinigami rambled between bites.

He gulped down the core, looking mildly relieved.

"Rem was one."

"Rem. Yes…I suspected as much," said L thoughtfully, pleased to be correct. "It was Rem who had the knowledge to make the deal, or claimed to, anyway…and he certainly seemed sure of himself…but he didn't want to give it all away, that much is certain…" L continued, but Ryuk had stopped listening. When L looked over to his corner, he could tell by Ryuk's posture that he was being purposely ignored.

"Why did you want to help him, Ryuk?" L said loudly, bringing him back.

"What? Well, he was my friend, I guess you could say." Ryuk didn't seem all that interested in the turn this conversation was taking. Had something L said unsettled him that much? _Interesting_.

"You've claimed to be neutral," he persisted. "Many times, you've said you had nothing invested in Light's fate, or even that of the death note. But you are motivated by one thing at least, and that, my friend, is stimulation."

"What!" Ryuk looked horrified. If L had surprised a death god sitting on the toilet, he doubt Ryuk could have been more the picture of embarrassment. But he recovered himself, even as L drew near to peer into his otherworldy glare. "What would someone like me want with stimulation? I'm not exactly alive."

"You're not exactly dead," L retorted.

"Yeah. Like you!"

"Yes. And you like it that way. You hope to keep it that way, don't you? You would, if you could."

"If I could _what_? Save your life?"

"Take me with you. And Light."

Now Ryuk looked truly afraid. He glanced wildly this way and that.

"Who are you afraid will hear, death god? Your king?"

"You're a keen one. All right," Ryuk continued, beaten, in a hushed voice, "I admit, I'm tired of staring at the same faces all the time, all those boring spirits, the same hopelessly uninteresting pack of morons I've shared eternity with for as long as there was anything to remember. It's a rotten existence, because we don't mingle with the human spirits much. They wander around, always preoccupied with past lives, and then eventually, blinking back out again when they've forgotten what they've left behind, to live yet another silly human life where they have to learn everything all over again. I hate it."

"And you envy them. Us."

"That's the way it is," Ryuk shrugged. "It's always been. But anyway, it's not up to me. That's how it's been, and Rem was the one who made the deal, whatever it was he was up to. I have nothing to do with it, and it's not my fault if it doesn't work."

"But you don't think it has to be that way. You don't seem to think very highly of the king of your realm-"

"Shut up!"

Few things, L thought, must be more unpleasant than having your mouth covered by the cold, clawed hand of a death god. The stench of stale death filled his nostrils, and saliva rushed to his mouth as he almost vomited. But mercifully, Ryuk took it away. L breathed.

"You can't _say_ that kind of thing out loud, Lawliet," Ryuk said in earnest, almost pleading. "Give me a break. You all have only death to fear; I have _nothingness_!"

"Or whatever it is you don't know yet. In a way, Ryuk, you are just like us. You're terrified of what you don't know. So you don't even try to do anything about it."

Ryuk shook his head furiously.

"Not true," he insisted. "Not true."

"But Rem is not afraid. I wonder why that is. He was older than you, wasn't he?"

"We don't have time-"

"Yes, you do. You don't have it the same way we do, but it is there, nevertheless. That's why you experience events linearly. You remember conversations you've had, things you've witnessed, events you've been a part of, and you act based on those experiences. You don't experience them as if they were all happening at once…or do you?"

"No," said Ryuk miserably, now thoroughly bewildered. He didn't know what yet, but he seemed to have lost at whatever it was. He certainly did not like being bewildered.

"Well," said L after a moment, seemingly in a good mood, "this is a good thing, Ryuk. It means Rem must have known something you don't. He must have known what he was doing. And maybe that's why you were willing to help him, when he made the pact with me…"

Ryuk volunteered nothing at this, but he was thoughtful. L went over to the cabinet and got out another apple.

"I'll share this one with you," he said, taking out a pocket knife and slicing it in half. He tossed the other half to Ryuk, who looked both thrilled and disappointed. "When Eve was given the fruit of knowledge, she shared it. Why shouldn't I?"

"You're awfully pleased with yourself," Ryuk grumbled without conviction, for he'd lost all fight and was now merely curious.

"I am, Ryuk. Because I think I've found a way we can all win. If I'm right, it may be a long, long, long, _long_ time before you're ever tempted to throw your death note into our world again."


	8. Having His Cake and Eating It, Too

**Title: Our Last Chance**

**Chapter: Having His Cake and Eating It, Too**

**Rating: M for sexual content and some language.**

**Author's Note: Like the other unfinished stories, it was time for this one to end, so I can go on to bigger and better things! As a result, I am sure there could be some plot cleanups here and there, but I did the best I could to bring it to a resolution. I kinda like it. Hope you do, too! J Thanks for reading.**

"I want you to eat cake off of me," Light teased, still holding his hands over L's eyes.

"I can honestly say that is the last thing I expected to hear today," L replied, recovering from having been startled.

Light teased his neck with his lips and removed his hands.

"You're in a good mood," L dryly observed.

"Why shouldn't I be? Let's go outside today. Out of this prison. No offense."

"None taken."

"Let's get some sun. Come on. Is there any point in staying in here? You know I'm not going to run away, don't you? And even if I did, you have the notebook now."

"To suggest I'd use it that way, " L said, turning and looking up into Light's sparkling eyes, "is more insulting than calling my hospitality a prison."

"Well, I _did_ start out behind bars."

"You _are_ still a criminal, and still awaiting judgment, at that."

There was the slightest chill between them as they stared at each other. Light leaned against L's desk, where he sat, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"About that. So…I guess this secret you've been keeping has something to do with that."

"Something to do with it, yes."

"Well then…tell me, L. Tell me, and for crissakes, stop leading me on." Light pushed himself away from the desk and paced irritably.

_Look at that_, thought L, intrigued. _I think I've actually hurt his feelings. Fascinating._

"It's no fun being used. I know…" he began, but Light whirled on him then, and L caught his breath.

"So what's this? Revenge? It seems unlike you, L…every second you get, you remind me of all the horrible things I've done. You never even _consider_ that I could change-"

"Whether or not you can change, Light, is not really up to me, and does not really concern me." L stood up, spreading his hands, trying to think of how to smooth things over and still not give away too much. He was completely lost when it came to this kind of thing. Part of him wanted to see and savor Light's suffering-and part of him just wanted to go over to the other end of the room and hold him, forever.

"You can say that, after last night, after the last few days-"

"Now just wait a minute. I'm not finished."

Light stared at him stonily.

_A bit of the old Kira_, L mused, recognizing the expression.

"What I mean, Light, is it's not up to me, your fate. It's already been decided."

"Tell me," Light said quietly, with little emotion, after a long silence had passed.

L sighed. _I'm tired_…he realized, suddenly, how true this was. He wondered, as he went to Light slowly, innocently, if that was part of knowing that you were about to die. He put his arms around Light's neck and, not meeting his eyes, murmured.

"There was a deal. In exchange for being the one to bring you to justice."

"A deal with Rem," Light intoned. Clearly he'd put the pieces together that far.

"Yes. Very good. You see, he had to kill me. You'd left him little choice."

"He was willing to die for Misa," Light remembered softly. "At least," he cleared his throat, "at least someone was. So…he spared you?"

"No. I did die. In a way. If he had not removed me from the picture, I would have followed through on his worst fears."

"Of course," Light murmured, and absently drew L close about the waist. It was what he'd loved about L all along: his persistence. But something wasn't adding up. What did L mean, dying _in a way_?

"So what did you do," Light asked softly, pulling him even closer, "write your own name in the death note?"

"Rem wrote it."

"But he wrote it for a different date," Light guessed.

"Yes," L whispered, grazing Light's lips, but still he hesitated.

"And? What did you have to give in return?" asked Light, stifling his impatience. "Me? You could have let me die."

"Killing you was not enough, nor was delivering you to justice…in _this _world."

"Mmmm…" Light smiled.

But L wasn't smiling. In fact, his grip around L's neck had become vice-like. Light pulled back. L held on.

"What…what the hell?!"

"You want-you want to know-what the price-for the extension-was?" L panted, holding Light's face so that his fingers bore his cheekbones and made white splotches in the flesh. "It was-to deliver you-to hell-myself!"

Light finally tore away and staggered back, fear and fury present. He raised his fist, and was certainly about to hit L. But L merely stared back, and he was calm…there was no hate or anger in him now. Only resolve.

"That's right, Light…" he murmured, so softly he could barely be heard above their breathing. "That's right."

Understanding seemed to dawn on Light, and his wrinkled eyebrows raised. Disbelief.

"You-Rem-you're taking his place!"

From some dark corner of the room, Ryuk began to laugh, and his laughter grew louder and heartier by the moment. But only L heard it. Perhaps Light could feel it, for he shuddered and tore his eyes from L's face, looking around.

"That's right. You're looking at a brand new god of death." L shoved his hands back into his pockets, looking as if he'd just announced nothing more unusual than having tried a new brand of breakfast cereal.

"A-a-sshhhinigami…"

L looked surprised.

"Yes…I…guess you _could_ say that, couldn't you? I don't know yet. But I know my first task, and that's to take you from this world. As a human, it would be murder, to which I am morally opposed. However, with my newfound responsibilities, let's just say the rules I follow now are-not of this realm. So-"

L lunged.

Light, at another time, was probably the better fighter. But L was strong-unnaturally strong. In the end, bloodied and bruised, they lay gasping on the floor, Light hanging onto consciousness by a thread.

L dragged himself over to Light and straddled him, as if gloating in his victory. He ignored Light's hurt expression; reaching down his ripped shirt collar, he pulled out the dark pendulum, which hung now still as death…but glowed with an otherworldly, sick green color.

He pulled and twisted at the place where the top of the pendulum met the chain; it was a screw-cap.

Light's eyes, swollen and red, widened.

"Light, believe me," L wheezed, dispassionate as ever, "it's best this way. This way, everyone wins. But…I'm wasting my breath. You'll see. You'll see…it's not the end…"

Opening the cap, he arched and tipped the pendulum-cup into his open mouth.

Rem slipped out. The wisp that was what was left of the shinigami hovered in the air for just an instant; then, insidiously, it rushed into L, down his throat, and through his nostrils. L's eyes flew wide open and a sound like a death throe, a crow's caw, came out.

"L…no!" Light screamed, and he sounded like someone on the edge of madness.

L closed his mouth, shuddered, and looked back at him.

His eyes were black coals with green embers where the pupils should have been.

"Give death a kiss," a voice from another dimension seethed, and L, grasping the protesting Light by his collar, glued his lips onto Light's mouth and sucked, hard.

Ryuk shimmered nearby, fading in and out, hardly noticing as the human world slipped away, to be replaced by the dreary façade of his tired, rotten purgatory. He had made this journey so many times, he no longer had to think about it. Yet, in all the times he had interacted with humans, he had never seen anything, _anything_, like this.

_Heh. I'll be damned. Rem, you devil._

**Epilogue**

"Um, so…welcome home, Light."

"Can't say I love what you've done with the place."

"My house is your house. Feel free to leave your stuff around."

Light sighed.

They stood on a vast, sandy dune, gazing at a dark canyon that seemed to stretch into depths of cosmic nothingness. Figures dotted the dead landscape here and there; each skeletal tree, and there weren't many, looked exactly alike. Somewhere, they both knew, a tired king who cared little about who came and went sat on a dead throne surveying his kingdom.

"Bringing me here wasn't part of the deal," Light realized, not really asking.

"No."

"Then why?" He turned to look at L, and wondered if he looked as hollow and pale.

"You have to ask? Because I wanted you here," L said simply, and looked back at him.

There was nothing in his eyes now, except acceptance. Blank, matter-of-fact acceptance. And it was okay.

Light grimaced, the best he could do at smiling in his new, dreary form.

"Then you do love me."

L shrugged.

Slowly, they both smiled, truly this time. And then they laughed.

"Wherever you go, that's where I want to be," said Light, and L knew there was nothing else that needed to be said.

"Won't Rem be upset, that you basically gave me another chance at existence? We're not going to be haunted by him, are we?"

"I don't think so," L replied. "I think I've satisfied his demand. He wanted me to be the one to bring you to justice, and he felt I was worthy of taking his place if it would help me undo Kira's work and prevent another Kira from ever happening. So what I do with that power after, I'd say, is my prerogative."

They both felt Ryuk approach and greeted him before turning to see him trudging their way.

"'ey, Ryuk," Light nodded.

"Hi," said L.

"Greetings!"

"He certainly seems cheerful," L mused.

"I guess with us around," Light said, loud enough for Ryuk to hear, "it'll be a long time before he'll be bored again."

Ryuk nodded vigorously.

"You have no idea. I can't _wait _to see what kind of trouble you stir up _here_. And we _need _it!"

"Then you should have done something a long time ago," L pointed out, and they all fell into step going the way Ryuk had come.

"I told you as much when you first came to me," Light reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah," Ryuk said, and changed the subject. "Come on. I'll show you around."

The End


End file.
